Aspiring Book Authors: Here Are 12 Things I’ve Learned From Talking To Published Authors
Literary agents are useless, insulting, horrible human beings. Avoid them at all costs. Just talk to authors directly. That's a much smarter move, and they're much nicer.
I’ve been writing a book for a few years, and it’s been quite the journey.
Writing, rewriting, editing, thinking I have something amazing, then revisiting it later and thinking it’s total crap… I have learned a lot of lessons along the way.
There are far too many takeaways to share in one post, but here is a list of twelve things I’ve learned in my bookwriting journey so far that I felt were worth sharing.
#1: Ignore Literary Agents
Reaching out to literary agents is a complete, utter waste of time, 100% of the time.
Every single minute I ever spent trying to pitch my book idea to a literary agent was entirely wasted. My time would have been better spent flossing my teeth, taking a dump on the toilet, or sitting in a lawn chair, twiddling my thumbs on the sidewalk on trash day, waiting for the garbage truck to come so I could watch it empty my big green garbage can.
IF you can ever get through to them (which is almost never) they’re totally, completely dismissive and offer no helpful feedback whatsoever.
I have literally sent query letters to agents who simply reply with two words: “No thanks.”
When I reply back to them to ask why not or if they can offer feedback, they say nothing. Nothing. Literally zero response: totally unhelpful, insulting silence.
Book agents are awful, horrible human beings. All of them. Do not seek them out.
Don’t try to engage with them at all. They are hopelessly arrogant jerks. Every… single… one… of… them… Have I made myself clear?
AVOID LITERARY AGENTS AT ALL COSTS.
If you like pain, pick up a cordless drill, stick it in your mouth, and start drilling. Seeing your own blood spurting all over the place and hearing your bones crunching will be a more pleasant experience than finding an agent to sell your book to a publisher.
#2: Connect With Real Authors Instead
Whenever I read a book that I find interesting, I get the author’s contact info and reach out directly to ask them questions. Surprisingly, it works!
They have almost always been willing to talk, and they freely offer advice.
My success rate in connecting with authors whose books I’ve read is around 90%. They have been shockingly polite and helpful.
Also, just to reinforce my first point, EVERY book author I’ve spoken to agrees that finding a literary agent was just about the worst thing they’ve ever done in their lives.
Some have told me they’d rather slit their wrists than try to find an agent again.
#3: Ask Authors for Lessons Learned
Don’t ask book authors about your own book. Ask them about theirs.
I’ve asked many authors about what they learned in the process, what they wish they knew before writing their book, what they’d do differently if they started over, and their plans for more writing in the future.
If you can take what they’ve learned and translate it in a way that makes sense to inform yourself, that’s great. But don’t go to a book author and say, “Hey, here’s my book idea,” or “Can you talk about my book?” — that’s rude.
Ask them about their experience, and they’ll be more than willing to help. Listen carefully to what they say, and take good notes.
#4: Publishing Is A Popularity Contest
Most of the authors I’ve spoken to told me they thought their publishers would help them with marketing and sales. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
Nope.
Publishers have a bizarre mindset where they expect the authors to do all the marketing, promotion, and sales. These days, all publishers do, apparently, is print your book.
Many publishers expect you to have a significant following that you’ve built up yourself before they’ll find you worthy of being published.
This is totally backward, but it’s true. They want you to create your own momentum first, or they’re not interested. It makes no sense: if you already have a huge following, why would you even need a publisher?
One author told me: “I spoke to a publisher that was interested in my book proposal, but when they found out I didn’t have a big enough following online, they decided not to help me.”
I asked: “Did they give you a number of what a ‘big enough following was?”
The response I got was short and to the point. “Yes. At least 100,000.”
That is insanity.
Telling an author they must have at least 100,000 rabid fans before they can be found worthy of being published? What intoxicating vanity.
Publishers want YOU to build YOUR OWN following before they’re willing to help you publish a book.
“Cart, meet horse. Horse, follow behind cart.”
If I may be so bold to say it: this is pure idiocy, and it reflects the extraordinary laziness of publishing houses. I think it’s a good thing so many of them are going out of business. They really don’t do very much anyway. Good riddance.
#5: Self-Publishing Is A Valid Option
Some authors have found self-publishing to be the best choice. It’s far less work, you can get it done much faster, you keep more of the money, and you have much more creative control.
Plus, these days, it can be just as professional as “traditional” publishing.
Actually, most authors I’ve talked to say they prefer self-publishing to old-fashioned publishing. They like being able to do what they want without the bureaucracy of a stodgy corporation telling them what they can and can’t do, arguing over book covers, or being told to take out sections they don’t want to.
Most of the authors I’ve spoken to have done both: traditional publishing and self-publishing. They seem to be evenly split on the question of which is better, and say: “They can both be good, but it depends on your goals.”
#6: Writing Books Is Just Not Profitable
None of the authors I’ve spoken to have made much money writing. Some have even lost money. Some have made a very small amount.
Some of them were given a big advance many years ago, but their actual book sales were so poor they hadn’t even earned back the book advance, so they hadn’t seen much in the way of royalties.
It’s a cold, hard truth: there’s just no big “payday” for most authors.
#7: Successful Writers Are The 1%
Huge names sell most of the books and make almost all the money, but they’re the 1%.
The other 99% are left fighting over crumbs. For every big-name author out there, there are ten thousand you’ve never heard of trying to be heard above the noise.
That doesn’t mean it isn’t worth writing or even publishing a book. But it does mean that very, very few people can make a living purely by writing books.
#8: Books Aren’t The Main Goal, They’re a Tool
Many authors use their books as a means to do other things: get speaking gigs, become known on a certain topic, get media attention, etc. Writing books helps them find success in other areas of life that actually make them money.
Most of the people I’ve talked to make most of them money elsewhere, and they just use the book as a way to spread the word about them and their cause. It’s a giant business card if you will. That’s not bad, but it is good to know this going into it.
#9: You Must Know WHY You’re Writing
Every author I’ve spoken to has asked me why I want to write a book.
This is a very good question. It’s one you should find an answer to before writing.
Do you want fame? Do you just want to be heard? Do you want to start a movement?
Whatever it is you want, you should know ahead of time what your end goal is.
#10: “If You Build It, They Won’t Come”
Again, the biggest surprise and disappointment for many authors is that they hoped writing a book (or books) would get them followers or fans.
It didn’t.
They all say to build your following first and THEN write and release your books.
This is the opposite of what most writers do, and it’s the hardest lesson to learn. Very, very few people go from being a complete unknown to a best-selling author.
Harper Lee (“To Kill a Mockingbird”) is probably the best-known writer who fits this profile. Almost nobody else can pull this off, and this isn’t really a strategy: it’s hoping you get lucky. Don’t count on that.
#11: There Will Be Haters; Ignore Them
Every book I’ve ever read has negative comments and bad reviews online. All authors know this, or if they don’t already, they will soon find out.
Some of them read their negative comments and reviews, and some don’t. Either way, the advice across the board has been to prepare yourself for hate and try to ignore it.
#12: “Was it All Worth It?”
Some authors I’ve spoken to have given me a conclusion that I found surprising.
“If I had it all to do over again, I probably wouldn’t. It wasn’t worth it. It was too much work for too little reward.”
Others have told me it may have been worth it, but only out of a sense of personal accomplishment, not for a big payout at the end.
Only you can decide what will make it worth it for you.
Finally, most of the authors I’ve talked to have also asked me to consider the following question, with a few slight variations.
“If absolutely nobody reads my book, is it still worth writing?”
If the answer to this is “yes,” by all means, continue forward.
But if you’re depending on your readers to make writing your book worthwhile, that’s the wrong motivation. You are your most important reader. At the end of the day, you have to do it for yourself.