We MUST Change the Way We Talk and Report About Suicide
Pretending we don't know the cause of death for people who die by suicide is disrespectful to them and is insulting to their families and others who are suffering.
“Died unexpectedly, at the age of 35,” Dan’s obituary began.
Reading the whole entry, one could easily conclude that my friend was an unfortunate victim of an early heart attack or stroke.
Poor guy. What a shame. This young man was taken from us too soon: the unwitting victim of some random, unknown health condition that struck without warning.
However, a text message I received from a mutual friend gave me the real story.
“He committed suicide. Sounds like he was far in debt and super depressed. I still can’t believe it.”
Contrary to the obituary’s inaccurate claim, my friend Dan’s death was not due to an unexpected accident without any notice or warning signs.
No, this was the intentional, self-inflicted death of a grown man—a man with a wife and seven children, by the way—who lost all hope and chose to end his own life.
I know these words sound harsh. But they’re true.
I sympathize with family members who want to portray their loved ones in the best light and keep the cause of death a secret. After all, it’s embarrassing to admit that someone you love ended their own life.
But why? Why are we so ashamed to discuss or even acknowledge suicide?
The sad reality is that suicide is not just brushed under the rug by relatives of the deceased who are hoping not to expose shameful family secrets (although this is certainly true). It’s actually much worse than that: many news organizations have rules in their newsrooms explicitly forbidding reporting on deaths by suicide.
I literally saw this in action first-hand several years ago.
In 2010, I worked for a tech company in the heart of downtown Colorado Springs. One cold November day, I looked out the window and was shocked to see a man’s dead body lying on the sidewalk.
It appeared that a construction worker had fallen off the roof of the very tall building across the street.
A crowd gathered.
Police arrived and closed off the street.
A covering was draped over the deceased.
Rumors immediately began swirling.
Who was this man?
Did he fall?
Did he jump?
Was he pushed?
Why was he up on the roof in the first place?
How did this happen?
I tried to work at my desk while ignoring the commotion outside. It was hard: I almost vomited from the guttural reaction of seeing an actual dead human body on the street. This was real: this was not a movie scene or simulation.
After an hour or two, I went online to see what the local news media might have to say about the incident. To my surprise, they said almost nothing at all.
Frustrated, I reached out to one station, KXRM / FOX21 News Colorado, by sending them a message on Twitter. I asked why they hadn’t said anything about it. Surely, they knew about it.
To my surprise, they replied right away with an answer. To my disgust, their answer was pathetically awful and irresponsible.
“Hi Ron, a man committed suicide by jumping off the Alamo Building. Our policy is to not cover suicides. Hope that helps.”
“Hope that helps?”
I was gobsmacked.
Let’s review this, shall we? The busiest street in the city’s downtown was cordoned off. There was an active crime scene with police barricade tape causing a tremendous spectacle in front of dozens, perhaps hundreds of people. Traffic was blocked. Gawkers loomed everywhere.
And the local news station chose to ignore a breaking news story simply due to the cause of death?
That was outrageous. If someone had indeed pushed this man off the roof, they’d make it the biggest story of the day. But because he jumped, they just… pretended it didn’t even happen?
This kind of idiocy is insulting to everyone’s intelligence.
It’s also misguided.
The standard response by newspapers and media companies in these cases is that they choose not to cover suicides in order to “prevent copycat suicides.”
That sounds noble, doesn’t it? Sure it does. But I don’t buy that defense at all.
Want proof? Many of these very same news organizations will gleefully place stories about terrorist acts or school killings on the front page, come rain or shine because it will attract clicks.
What’s worse, these stories can—and have been proven to—inspire “copycat” events.
What rank hypocrisy.
It’s a nice idea to think that we’re not contributing to more suicides by refusing to cover stories of suicides or refusing to admit when suicide is the cause of death in an obituary.
But it’s not that simple. Nothing about suicide is simple.
Even the Centers for Disease Control acknowledged in a report that this idea is completely wrong.
“[E]fforts on the part of many suicide-prevention specialists, public health practitioners, and researchers to curtail the reporting of suicide… in newspapers and on television… were often counterproductive, and news articles about suicides were written without the valuable input of well-informed suicide-prevention specialists and others in the community.”
There are indeed a few specific things that clearly have been proven to promote what the CDC calls “suicide contagion” when reporting on the topic.
These include obvious examples such as:
“Glorifying suicide or persons who commit suicide.”
“Focusing on the suicide completer’s positive characteristics.”
“Providing sensational coverage of suicide.”
“Reporting ‘how-to’ descriptions of suicide.”
But the conclusion at the bottom of the report also literally states what I think is resoundingly obvious:
“[R]eporting of suicide can have several direct benefits. Specifically, community efforts to address this problem can be strengthened by news coverage that describes the help and support available in a community, explains how to identify persons at high risk for suicide, or presents information about risk factors for suicide.
An ongoing dialogue between news media professionals and health and other public officials is the key to facilitating the reporting of this information.”
None of that supports the conclusion that a local FOX affiliate should have a policy to “not cover suicides” like KXRM does (or did).
For those worried about the journalistic integrity of such an effort, fear not. The Society of Professional Journalists’ own Code of Ethics states that reporters should “seek truth and report it.” Of course, we all know this. That’s what journalism is for.
But can we not also report on suicides and, at the same time, “show good taste” and “avoid pandering to lurid curiosity,” as it also recommends?
Yes, surely we can. And we must.
I understand how devastated friends and family members feel when a loved one commits suicide. I personally know at least eight people who died by suicide recently:
three friends
four acquaintances or coworkers
one family member
I understand the pain, the confusion, and the shame involved. It’s horribly embarrassing and socially shameful. But do not patronize me by pretending we didn’t know it happened or saying we shouldn’t talk about it.
We are doing no favors either to the memory of the dead or the comfort of the living by pretending that those who chose to end their own lives weren’t suffering.
In fact, suicide is a “leading cause of death” and “major public health concern” in America, according to the National Institutes of Mental Health.
Why play games with people’s lives? Why stick our heads in the sand, twiddle our thumbs, and pretend we don’t know what’s going on?
Stop the madness.
It is time to be open and honest about suicide. The lack of honesty and openness in our culture is shameful.
We must change the way we talk about and report on suicide.
Admitting that we have a problem is the first step.
If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org. Veterans, press 1 when calling.