HAHAHA. Yes, I did. I want to be careful when answering this publicly, though, because:
I’m married to a white woman
I’ve been married for 20 years, so all of the discourse on current dating trends is background noise to me.
I’m trying not to make a moral judgment, so much as present an observation that is so painfully obvious, yet people pretend not to notice it.
I don’t recall exactly what I said, but I think it was:
“Because they understand the assignment. White American men are marrying foreign women from Asia and South America because those women actually want to become wives. They actually know what being a wife means. Most American women are not willing to become the wives that men want. It’s literally that simple.”
It is truly bizarre to me to see the loud, angry subset of “college-educated” liberal white women who scream and throw temper tantrums about “patriarchy,” “oppression,” and all manner of feminist nonsense, insisting:
They will never submit to a man’s authority
They will not cook dinner
They will not do household chores
They will not stay at home
They will not take his last name
They do not want children
They do not want to be looked at as a sexual object
Then they have the audacity to act shocked when men go to a foreign country to find women who will. Instead, they play the victim and cry:
“WHY ARE THERE NO GOOD MEN?!”
It’s an absurdist, paradoxical comedy, but they’re not self-aware enough to grasp how ridiculous they sound.
Good god, woman! You just listed off all the things wives have been doing for husbands since literally the beginning of time, and said you don’t want to do any of them.
What do you think men want in a wife? You’ve announced to every man in your entire country that you don’t want to be a wife. And now you’re surprised? You’re describing a roommate—nothing more.
In what other circumstance can a person say, “I want the job title, all the credit, and all the prestige of the role, but don’t EVER ask me to do anything listed in the job description?”
It’s self-parody that would be funny if it weren’t so sad.
It’s time to invent a new phrase for this: let’s call them WINOs. “Wives in name only.”
That seems to be what many or most white American women aspire to be in 2025. They want to be WINOs.
Ah, yes, fascinating how free-markets work, isn't it? If you go into a supermarket that sells only "American grown" apples, but you find that they are attractive but tasteless and cost $2 apiece, you can always go the the market across the street that sells scrumptious and attractive apples imported from Chile for 1$ apiece. The American-grown-only store has no reasonable basis for complaint. All they need to do to compete is find a source of great-tasting, American-grown, apples at a competitive price. Lord, I love the free-market!
Classic syndrome, I'm an unhappy person; therefore, NO ONE shall be happy.
Another sad, angry soul determined to drag others into their ugly neurosis. I wonder what series of events twisted her top off and made her decide she was so special.
Great post, Ron.
Choose wisely, my brothers. Good, decent, well-adjusted women exist. But you must look hard for them.
Yes, you must look hard for them... or, as someone recently noticed, just go south of the border or overseas. It is truly remarkable how the cultural expectations of American women are compared to those of immigrants. I can count, probably on more than two hands, the number of men I know who sought a wife outside of the USA because the women actually wanted to become wives, and bear children, etc.
As a young bachelor considering whom to marry, I thought long and hard on what was most important to me, and what I wanted to get out of life, and how I wanted to live my life, and what I wanted my home and family to be like.
After this contemplation and prayer I adopted a rule, "We need to agree on the big things, including God, religion, worldview and politics."
I simply could not imagine spending the rest of my life at odds with my wife over politics. You get to choose your life partner, thank God. But, I reasoned, before you choose your spouse you must first do the work of forming a foundation of beliefs, principles, and worldview.
So I did this work. I knew myself and my beliefs. After many hundreds of hours of I chose to become a God-fearing, conservative Christian, pro-life, pro-Constitution, American patriot who believes in the rule of law to protect individual liberty, life and property, and therefore committed to principle of small limited government, and self-responsibility. Therefore I figured, it follows that you neither date, nor marry leftists, feminists, or social justice warriors, who tend (98% of the time) to be registered Democrat voters. Agreement on my principles was a deal-breaker for me. I learned that political party affiliation was an easy-to-spot marker for one's deeply held beliefs. I did not want to put politics at the top of my decision-making, but I recognized that party membership is pretty handy for whom to "rule-out" as a marriage candidate.
Fortunately you get to choose whom you marry.
But you don't get to choose your in-laws in the same way, and you take whom God gives you for children and grandchildren, and you love them no matter what. They are entitled to their own opinions, different from mine. I am determined to live with them in peace.
“Tom, figuring his vote was more likely to determine the outcome of his marriage than the election’s, voted for Kamala Harris.”
What a jello-spined mentality. Was his wife making him take pictures of his ballot? Also, I can’t imagine being married to someone diametrically opposed to your belief system—be it religion or politics. That sounds exhausting
I've heard of Heather before but I can't place her in all the things I've read. What I have noticed is the men who have been affected by aggressively angry, arrogant, frustrated women/wives. I spoke with one who was waiting on me in a clothing store. I commented on a picture of Chelsea Handler (another pea in that pod) skiing in a bikini. He told me his wife loved Chelsea Handler and so he took her to one of her stand up shows (I immediately thought of 400 things I would rather spend my time/money on). I asked him what it was like. He said, "Well, her shtick is making fun of men like me. She makes fun of her family and guys in a pretty vulgar way. She's funny though." I walked away and thought, 'What have we done and where are we going? This is not good.'
Yeah, it's sad. There's a lot of that. TV as a whole has been mocking men as a central trope for decades. "Dad is stupid. Men are stupid. Haha. It's funny. Laugh at it." For the most part, this doesn't happen with women.
Sour grapes. None of the men I'm talking about is like that, and every single one of them is still married to a wonderful woman who bore them children and made excellent wives.
At what point is that true? Trump literally tried to steal an election based on the lie that Biden stole the election. Granted, not all Republicans are invested in Trump’s narrative and maybe just didn’t like inflation, etc. but Trump really is a bad actor. And Groyperism is now a phenomenon among the young. I am directly experiencing it.
I re-read the article, but this time I tried to see it from the wife's position. Here's what I think "Kate" might have thought about it.
"Dear Ex-Husband Tom,
Your article says you started off "right-of-center" but then you started to see the world more the way I see it. You were ashamed of your right-wing President's war-mongering policies, and came to be influenced by how people in other countries see the US (similar to how I see it). And then you admit that you voted for Hillary, and you despised Trump. You said that before we got married you knew I was a "hard-core liberal feminist" (your words, not mine), but you found me fascinating to converse with and were attracted to me. Somewhere in there you married me. You even voted for Kamala! But your heart wasn't in it. You were so milquetoast that you were afraid to vote your conscience? You want to be a right-winger, but you don't have the guts to stand up to a woman you think is wrong? So, let me get this straight; you went from right-winger, to left-winger, and back to right-winger sort-of, ish, and now YOU want to blame ME for changing? Dude, you knew who I was from the moment you met me. I never changed. I've always stood up for my beliefs, unlike you. I may be despicable in my leftism (in your opinion), but I am the consistent one here.
-- Kate"
I don't get it when men marry a self-avowed feminist, who is NOT "wearing a mask," because... lust, or attraction, or whatever temporary value, and then whine when it doesn't pan out for them.
That is very interesting, and it shows how a man compromising to please his wife can actually make her respect him *less* — which is the opposite of the desired outcome.
There is absolutely an epidemic of liberal white woman - especially those w/ many degrees - radicalizing younger American women. There is also an epidemic of men who don't want the responsibility of dependents. Sure, he may want an assistant to submit to him, but when it comes time to pay for her needs/wants... then he feels like he has the authority to be a financial dictator.
The more masculine, selfish women are walking side by side with men who want very little responsibility. It's almost like everyone is trending towards a same-sex relationship dynamic. Women want more passive husbands and husbands want women to cook/clean/child-rear while also paying all her own bills. It's absolutely inverted.
I agree w/ the piece about marrying outside of your culture to find a more traditional marriage arrangement. I am a woman who has been turned off by American men due to them treating relationships like they come and go while also expecting that we both act as providers for the family.
I ended up marrying a man [originally] from south Asia but raised here. Religiously, it's incumbent upon him to provide for us, with no equivalent female contribution listed. Ofc, I'm not a wretched bitch, so I take my cues from nature. I raise my children and surrender to motherhood. I make the meals and feed everyone. I do the homemaking and most of the clean up. I'd say I more than match his contributions. But this is what I'd always wanted, even when being indoctrinated in schools, I knew the nature of my female body and brain. I wanted to be a mother w/ everything in me...anyways, all to say: women are also looking to more traditional cultures for husbands due to the lack of providers/protectors amongst the American stock.
Also, I think there's an interesting false premise in all of these discussions. A women does not need to submit to the authority of a man in order to have a complementary marriage. This requirement is often listed amongst homemaking, child-rearing, etc. Why can't we just have a mutually respectful marriage in which we make decisions together? I've never understood the need to include that aspect - unless one or both of the included parties have a submission fetish. OR, I suppose, more traditional Christians practice that. Either way, men don't need to have authority over another adult - the female - in order for him to be respected, considered and to enjoy a marriage in which each person embraces their sex-based roles that are harmonious with nature.
Yes, Christianity has traditionally held that the man is the head of the household. That is true in my family, and I was very clear about that up front before marriage. Unlike the left-wing stereotype that some assume, though, in practice, that reality doesn't come up very often. My wife and I absolutely do have mutual respect for each other and often make decisions together, but I get the final say. Always.
This is a very strange take because it blames the divorce entirely on HCR - but it's very clear from the article that at the same time the wife was going farther left because of her media diet, the husband was going farther right because of _his_ media diet - Elon Musk The Twitter Files, The Free Press, Trump. They got more polarized from each other! Why does the blame lie solely on her reading material?
Is this a serious question? When a wife says she'll divorce her husband if he votes differently than she does, and a husband says, "I'd rather not make this a big deal, let's live and let live," these are not the same in any meaningful sense.
Nobody "blames the divorce entirely on HCR" — I don't think the original article claimed that, and I certainly didn't say that either. The point was that a steady diet of her "respectable" political content became so radicalizing that a somewhat normal woman came to the conclusion: "I should cut off my family members, all Republicans are Nazis, and I should divorce my husband if he disagrees with my politics."
Also, the Twitter Files was a collection of reports by multiple journalists exposing actual, documented censorship by the US government, nothing at all like a lone woman giving daily doomday dumps on all things political through the lens of "Trump bad, Republicans destroying America, this is the apocalypse, your life is in danger."
Did you give a direct answer to the question about why white men marry Asian and Hispanic women? How’d that go over?
HAHAHA. Yes, I did. I want to be careful when answering this publicly, though, because:
I’m married to a white woman
I’ve been married for 20 years, so all of the discourse on current dating trends is background noise to me.
I’m trying not to make a moral judgment, so much as present an observation that is so painfully obvious, yet people pretend not to notice it.
I don’t recall exactly what I said, but I think it was:
“Because they understand the assignment. White American men are marrying foreign women from Asia and South America because those women actually want to become wives. They actually know what being a wife means. Most American women are not willing to become the wives that men want. It’s literally that simple.”
It is truly bizarre to me to see the loud, angry subset of “college-educated” liberal white women who scream and throw temper tantrums about “patriarchy,” “oppression,” and all manner of feminist nonsense, insisting:
They will never submit to a man’s authority
They will not cook dinner
They will not do household chores
They will not stay at home
They will not take his last name
They do not want children
They do not want to be looked at as a sexual object
Then they have the audacity to act shocked when men go to a foreign country to find women who will. Instead, they play the victim and cry:
“WHY ARE THERE NO GOOD MEN?!”
It’s an absurdist, paradoxical comedy, but they’re not self-aware enough to grasp how ridiculous they sound.
Good god, woman! You just listed off all the things wives have been doing for husbands since literally the beginning of time, and said you don’t want to do any of them.
What do you think men want in a wife? You’ve announced to every man in your entire country that you don’t want to be a wife. And now you’re surprised? You’re describing a roommate—nothing more.
In what other circumstance can a person say, “I want the job title, all the credit, and all the prestige of the role, but don’t EVER ask me to do anything listed in the job description?”
It’s self-parody that would be funny if it weren’t so sad.
It’s time to invent a new phrase for this: let’s call them WINOs. “Wives in name only.”
That seems to be what many or most white American women aspire to be in 2025. They want to be WINOs.
Ah, yes, fascinating how free-markets work, isn't it? If you go into a supermarket that sells only "American grown" apples, but you find that they are attractive but tasteless and cost $2 apiece, you can always go the the market across the street that sells scrumptious and attractive apples imported from Chile for 1$ apiece. The American-grown-only store has no reasonable basis for complaint. All they need to do to compete is find a source of great-tasting, American-grown, apples at a competitive price. Lord, I love the free-market!
I was unaware of this person.
Classic syndrome, I'm an unhappy person; therefore, NO ONE shall be happy.
Another sad, angry soul determined to drag others into their ugly neurosis. I wonder what series of events twisted her top off and made her decide she was so special.
Great post, Ron.
Choose wisely, my brothers. Good, decent, well-adjusted women exist. But you must look hard for them.
Yes, you must look hard for them... or, as someone recently noticed, just go south of the border or overseas. It is truly remarkable how the cultural expectations of American women are compared to those of immigrants. I can count, probably on more than two hands, the number of men I know who sought a wife outside of the USA because the women actually wanted to become wives, and bear children, etc.
Is Heather Cox Richardson just another man-hating feminist, or is there more to her story than that?
Part 1 of Ronald D Stauffer Comments:
As a young bachelor considering whom to marry, I thought long and hard on what was most important to me, and what I wanted to get out of life, and how I wanted to live my life, and what I wanted my home and family to be like.
After this contemplation and prayer I adopted a rule, "We need to agree on the big things, including God, religion, worldview and politics."
I simply could not imagine spending the rest of my life at odds with my wife over politics. You get to choose your life partner, thank God. But, I reasoned, before you choose your spouse you must first do the work of forming a foundation of beliefs, principles, and worldview.
So I did this work. I knew myself and my beliefs. After many hundreds of hours of I chose to become a God-fearing, conservative Christian, pro-life, pro-Constitution, American patriot who believes in the rule of law to protect individual liberty, life and property, and therefore committed to principle of small limited government, and self-responsibility. Therefore I figured, it follows that you neither date, nor marry leftists, feminists, or social justice warriors, who tend (98% of the time) to be registered Democrat voters. Agreement on my principles was a deal-breaker for me. I learned that political party affiliation was an easy-to-spot marker for one's deeply held beliefs. I did not want to put politics at the top of my decision-making, but I recognized that party membership is pretty handy for whom to "rule-out" as a marriage candidate.
Fortunately you get to choose whom you marry.
But you don't get to choose your in-laws in the same way, and you take whom God gives you for children and grandchildren, and you love them no matter what. They are entitled to their own opinions, different from mine. I am determined to live with them in peace.
“Tom, figuring his vote was more likely to determine the outcome of his marriage than the election’s, voted for Kamala Harris.”
What a jello-spined mentality. Was his wife making him take pictures of his ballot? Also, I can’t imagine being married to someone diametrically opposed to your belief system—be it religion or politics. That sounds exhausting
Agreed. I would never vote for someone just to please another person.
I've heard of Heather before but I can't place her in all the things I've read. What I have noticed is the men who have been affected by aggressively angry, arrogant, frustrated women/wives. I spoke with one who was waiting on me in a clothing store. I commented on a picture of Chelsea Handler (another pea in that pod) skiing in a bikini. He told me his wife loved Chelsea Handler and so he took her to one of her stand up shows (I immediately thought of 400 things I would rather spend my time/money on). I asked him what it was like. He said, "Well, her shtick is making fun of men like me. She makes fun of her family and guys in a pretty vulgar way. She's funny though." I walked away and thought, 'What have we done and where are we going? This is not good.'
Yeah, it's sad. There's a lot of that. TV as a whole has been mocking men as a central trope for decades. "Dad is stupid. Men are stupid. Haha. It's funny. Laugh at it." For the most part, this doesn't happen with women.
Sour grapes. None of the men I'm talking about is like that, and every single one of them is still married to a wonderful woman who bore them children and made excellent wives.
“Republicans have sold their souls to the devil”
At what point is that true? Trump literally tried to steal an election based on the lie that Biden stole the election. Granted, not all Republicans are invested in Trump’s narrative and maybe just didn’t like inflation, etc. but Trump really is a bad actor. And Groyperism is now a phenomenon among the young. I am directly experiencing it.
Self hating white liberal women will be the downfall of America.
(Posted by Ron's Dad)
I re-read the article, but this time I tried to see it from the wife's position. Here's what I think "Kate" might have thought about it.
"Dear Ex-Husband Tom,
Your article says you started off "right-of-center" but then you started to see the world more the way I see it. You were ashamed of your right-wing President's war-mongering policies, and came to be influenced by how people in other countries see the US (similar to how I see it). And then you admit that you voted for Hillary, and you despised Trump. You said that before we got married you knew I was a "hard-core liberal feminist" (your words, not mine), but you found me fascinating to converse with and were attracted to me. Somewhere in there you married me. You even voted for Kamala! But your heart wasn't in it. You were so milquetoast that you were afraid to vote your conscience? You want to be a right-winger, but you don't have the guts to stand up to a woman you think is wrong? So, let me get this straight; you went from right-winger, to left-winger, and back to right-winger sort-of, ish, and now YOU want to blame ME for changing? Dude, you knew who I was from the moment you met me. I never changed. I've always stood up for my beliefs, unlike you. I may be despicable in my leftism (in your opinion), but I am the consistent one here.
-- Kate"
I don't get it when men marry a self-avowed feminist, who is NOT "wearing a mask," because... lust, or attraction, or whatever temporary value, and then whine when it doesn't pan out for them.
That is very interesting, and it shows how a man compromising to please his wife can actually make her respect him *less* — which is the opposite of the desired outcome.
There is absolutely an epidemic of liberal white woman - especially those w/ many degrees - radicalizing younger American women. There is also an epidemic of men who don't want the responsibility of dependents. Sure, he may want an assistant to submit to him, but when it comes time to pay for her needs/wants... then he feels like he has the authority to be a financial dictator.
The more masculine, selfish women are walking side by side with men who want very little responsibility. It's almost like everyone is trending towards a same-sex relationship dynamic. Women want more passive husbands and husbands want women to cook/clean/child-rear while also paying all her own bills. It's absolutely inverted.
I agree w/ the piece about marrying outside of your culture to find a more traditional marriage arrangement. I am a woman who has been turned off by American men due to them treating relationships like they come and go while also expecting that we both act as providers for the family.
I ended up marrying a man [originally] from south Asia but raised here. Religiously, it's incumbent upon him to provide for us, with no equivalent female contribution listed. Ofc, I'm not a wretched bitch, so I take my cues from nature. I raise my children and surrender to motherhood. I make the meals and feed everyone. I do the homemaking and most of the clean up. I'd say I more than match his contributions. But this is what I'd always wanted, even when being indoctrinated in schools, I knew the nature of my female body and brain. I wanted to be a mother w/ everything in me...anyways, all to say: women are also looking to more traditional cultures for husbands due to the lack of providers/protectors amongst the American stock.
Also, I think there's an interesting false premise in all of these discussions. A women does not need to submit to the authority of a man in order to have a complementary marriage. This requirement is often listed amongst homemaking, child-rearing, etc. Why can't we just have a mutually respectful marriage in which we make decisions together? I've never understood the need to include that aspect - unless one or both of the included parties have a submission fetish. OR, I suppose, more traditional Christians practice that. Either way, men don't need to have authority over another adult - the female - in order for him to be respected, considered and to enjoy a marriage in which each person embraces their sex-based roles that are harmonious with nature.
Yes, Christianity has traditionally held that the man is the head of the household. That is true in my family, and I was very clear about that up front before marriage. Unlike the left-wing stereotype that some assume, though, in practice, that reality doesn't come up very often. My wife and I absolutely do have mutual respect for each other and often make decisions together, but I get the final say. Always.
I love it - butthurt middle aged men are so funny
Where in this article did the author sound butthurt?
When he blamed a historian for men not pleasing their wives.
What?
No, he blamed a man-hating feminist for destroying marriages. Try to grow a few brain cells.
You are bitter
How are your 10 cats doing today?
More of a dog person
I think we all remember middle school. Some of us just moved on.
"[W]hen men get divorced, I’ve noticed that they almost never make announcements about it on social media"
True, provided you don't count him changing his profile pic to one of himself and the kids an announcement.
(Just joking at how prevalent that pattern is; basically I agree with you)
I thought the voting booth was private. No? Isn’t there a curtain or something to ensure a secret ballot?
this bitch, tiktok, and reddit…
This is a very strange take because it blames the divorce entirely on HCR - but it's very clear from the article that at the same time the wife was going farther left because of her media diet, the husband was going farther right because of _his_ media diet - Elon Musk The Twitter Files, The Free Press, Trump. They got more polarized from each other! Why does the blame lie solely on her reading material?
Is this a serious question? When a wife says she'll divorce her husband if he votes differently than she does, and a husband says, "I'd rather not make this a big deal, let's live and let live," these are not the same in any meaningful sense.
Nobody "blames the divorce entirely on HCR" — I don't think the original article claimed that, and I certainly didn't say that either. The point was that a steady diet of her "respectable" political content became so radicalizing that a somewhat normal woman came to the conclusion: "I should cut off my family members, all Republicans are Nazis, and I should divorce my husband if he disagrees with my politics."
Also, the Twitter Files was a collection of reports by multiple journalists exposing actual, documented censorship by the US government, nothing at all like a lone woman giving daily doomday dumps on all things political through the lens of "Trump bad, Republicans destroying America, this is the apocalypse, your life is in danger."
Not familiar with this HCR person. But for anyone hoping to hear a refreshing take on how women can recognize their husbands - I invite you here:
https://open.substack.com/pub/itskellyjackson/p/the-invisible-work-of-husbands-that?r=5lmmtk&utm_medium=ios